Fill 'er Up

Yesterday was the last saline fill for my tissue expanders. An expander is a hollow, plastic insert placed underneath a pectoral muscle that replaces the original breast tissue. The purpose of the expander is to stretch the pec muscle so it can eventually hold a semi-permanent silicone implant. Because the muscle can't stretch far enough all at once, the expander is injected with saline fluid several times over the course of a few months to slowly get the job done.

It's a very bizarre experience. First, the doctor has to find the injection port by circling a magnet over the area. The magnet is on a long chain and it slowly circles around and around until it clicks directly onto my skin. It makes me think I'm consulting with a fortune teller for some mystic look into the future.

Once the port is found, he brings out the largest syringe I have ever seen, the kind you see in cartoons, and injects the saline into the expander. Each time, the expanders grow by about 60 cc's. I have to say it is one of the weirdest things I have ever seen, watching my body instantly grow and blow up like a balloon in a few short seconds.

The first time, it wasn't too bad. The second time, I was in pain for days. This last time, I came prepared, having already taken pain meds before arriving. Today I'm sore, but it could be worse.

Each time, I question whether reconstruction is really worth it. Each fill is painful. The expanders are cumbersome and get in the way of basic things such as sleeping. And they have to remain in place until 6 months after the radiation treatments are finished, which means I need to live with them at least through August. All of this makes me miss my original, God-given set of tatas. Not only did they look better, they were much less maintenance.

Brett, my amazing engineer husband, has decided there is a better way: Air is superior to liquid. "Hey, why not put a valve on them? Then you could pump them up with a small bicycle pump. Let's say we were going out on Friday night, you could give them some extra oomph. Then if you have an important meeting for work on Monday morning, you could let some air out of the valve and be taken more seriously. It's perfect!"

So, we shall see. Perhaps the next great medical invention will be the Tallman Pneumatic Tissue Expander. Coming to a surgeon near you.