Change is in the Air

February, 2011. Showing off my new knitwear.
I designed and knit both the sweater and the hat.

So much has happened since my last post, it's hard to know where to begin. During one month's time I ended treatment, went to France, started feeling better, was laid-off of my job, and learned I had received a large grant which will allow me to start a PhD program. Whew! My head is still spinning from all the changes.

I think it's going to take several blog posts just to catch up, so I'll start with the health update first.

March 8th was my last radiation treatment. I was so relieved to be done. I had thought that radiation would be easier than chemotherapy, but it was challenging too, just in a different way. The main side-effect is lots of fatigue, which I am still wrestling with.

I have started gentle exercise. I do gentle yoga in the morning, then a 30 minute walk in the afternoon. Last week I tried jogging for 20 minutes, but it was too much and I spent several days recovering.

So. What now? I would like to say that I am free and clear of cancer and that this is over for good. But my oncologist says that he never tells his breast cancer patients they are cured, darn it. He has seen cancer return even as far as 20 years after the first incidence. However, these first 2 to 5 years are the most crucial. It's generally assumed that if you make it for 5 years without recurrence that you are in the clear.

None of this is very reassuring. I would like them to issue a certificate that I can frame and hang on my wall. I could look at it every day and feel secure that I am "cured." No such luck.

It's kind of strange how this all works. The diagnosis and early treatment phase is chaos and panic. Treatment is a blur of hospital visits, calls from the case-worker nurse, visits with the social-worker, lab tests, and more. During radiation I was at the hospital every day. And now.... nothing. It's a bit like being drop-kicked out the back door. "See ya! Good luck! Let us know if you have any bone pain!"

I will take a medicine, tamoxifen, for 5 years. It's supposed to block harmful estrogens in the body. Then I get a check-up every 3 months. They do routine bloodwork, take my blood pressure and ask how I'm feeling. And a chest x-ray every year. That's it. No CT scans, bone scans, MRI's or anything.

I thought this was very weird as I remember my mom getting CT and bone scans every 6 months during her follow-up care. When I asked my oncologist about this, he said that there is no advantage to knowing if there is a recurrence earlier rather than later, as it doesn't change the outcome. This is doctor-speak for "we have given you the best treatments available, now we just keep our fingers crossed and hope that it worked." It took awhile for this sobering message to sink in.

So. All I can do is move forward. I am certainly not waiting around, or looking over my shoulder, to find out if the treatment worked or not. I am making plans to be around for a long, long time.

This is the point where Western medicine has come to the end of its road. And while I am grateful for the treatments that are available now, I am all too aware that when it comes to cancer, Western medicine certainly does not hold all the answers.

With that in mind, we have been pursuing other therapies and treatments. First of all was a radical overhaul of our diet. After reading "The China Study" by T. Colin Campbell and learning of the National Geographic Blue Zones project (www.bluezones.com) we have taken out almost all animal products from our diet (meat, dairy, and eggs). I don't think we will ever be 100% strictly vegan. (Last night I cooked up some elk burger for our tacos.) But we are trending that way and feeling much better in the process.

Grace and I have been eating gluten-free for a few years, so taking out animal products adds another layer of complexity to the picture. It has taken us some time to figure out recipes we all like and enjoy. And it takes time for taste-buds and bodies to adjust. While I was in treatment, I didn't do a lot of cooking. Now that I'm feeling better, I am enjoying being back in the kitchen and exploring new recipes and ideas for our new diet. But it's going to take some time to create new cooking and eating habits.

We try to eat as many plant-based, whole foods as possible.Thanks to our amazing Vitamix, every morning I now have a green smoothie of vegetables. (Orange, carrots, spinach and broccoli are usually in there.)


Bug Juice

Another avenue I have been pursuing is functional genomic testing. Last year I discovered I was not a carrier for the BRCA1 or BRCA2 breast cancer gene. That was good news. But I wanted to know more.

Earlier this year, I consulted with Dr. Joe Veltmann, a doctor of nutritional medicine in New Mexico, for functional genomic testing. We looked at everything. We did genetic testing to see if there were any compromised hormone metabolism pathways. We tested my blood for vitamin D, heavy metals, and other stuff. We did urine tests to learn how estrogen was breaking down in my body. We did saliva tests to determine cortisol levels in response to stress. When all was said and done, Dr. Veltmann was able to make an educated guess as to what may have caused the cancer and designed an individual vitamin and supplement recommendation for me. I add these goodies to my bug juice every morning and down the hatch they go.

(A side note on Vitamin D. We did discover that I was low. But I'm glad we did the blood test to verify, rather than just guessing. Vitamin D is helpful, yes, but too much can be toxic. Did you know that Vitamin D (cholecalciferol) is the one thing that can be used for mouse and rat poison on organic farms? I wouldn't recommend taking more than the RDA unless you know for sure you need it.)

Exercise is the next piece of the wellness puzzle. While I'm not at a place to do vigorous exercise, I'm slowly getting there, and am looking forward to a summer of outside activity. Exercise is one of the few things that science has actually documented that will reduce the risk of cancer recurrence.

And the final, but probably most important piece, is spiritual and mental wellness. I am making a practice of daily meditation and prayer, and trying to take good care of myself in lots of ways, big and small. I think shopping, time with friends and family, and regular massage fits nicely into this category! :)

With treatment now in the rear-view mirror, it's officially time for a party! Time to celebrate life. All are invited to our house on Friday, April 29th from 5:30 onwards for an open-house/potluck/shindig. We will provide light snacks and drinks. Bring whatever you would like to eat or drink. Stay little or stay long. Kids and dogs welcome.

I will be making bug juice, but certainly not forcing anyone to drink it.